Restless Venting

Maybe it's because I'm sick, tired, and completely stressed out, but I feel so restless at the moment. Also, being hopped up on cold medicine and caffeine mixed with a lack of sleep, no wine these days, and major back pain, it's not helpful. I keep telling myself that it's mainly because I'm at the end of my graduate school experience and soon things will get better, but I'm just having a tough time. I think with all the interning, working, classes, and the comprehensive exam I'm just burnt out and lost all my drive. I love my little studio apartment don't get me wrong, it's been very good to me for the past year and 3 months, but I'm feeling claustrophobic because I'm here all the time now (in my free time that is). I have been cooped up all weekend, feeling sick and working on my comp reflections. Only time I got out was to take a run on the beach, which did me good but it was only for an hour. Otherwise, I just sit at my desk writing or on the couch watching TV. I feel like I'm being suffocated. Ever since I was 18 years old and left for college, I have pretty much moved every year or every two years, and when I moved back after college to my parents for awhile, I was traveling a lot... Chicago X 3, Connecticut, New York, Seattle, Indiana, road trips x 2 all over California, Texas, London, Paris, and Rome. Except for Vegas, I really haven't been anywhere in a long time now and my mind/body is craving to get the heck out of here for a bit. I am losing my sanity. I know I have to keep pushing through and stop this little pity party, but I get really down on myself because I have worked SO hard for 2 years now and I'm terrified after I'm done there will be no jobs. I kept a 4.0 the entire time, was accepted into 2 honor societies, and have made a good name for myself on campus through classes and work, but what if this was all for nothing??? I know I need to stop complaining because I have so much to be grateful for, but I just can't seem to shake this bum mood.

On a completely different note... I am watching the LA Marathon right now. All of those runners are amazing and I wish them all the absolute best. However, I feel sooo bad because it's pouring rain here! Go figure the ONE day it rains! Watching everyone is very inspiring and one of my goals (after graduation of course) is to start training and run the Long Beach 1/2 marathon (in October) and SOMEDAY run the LA Marathon... now that would be an accomplishment.