1. I was used to having a very organized and planned out schedule, anywhere from 8 to 17 hours a day and now I have absolutely NOTHING. No set time to wake-up, eat, intern, class, work, or be anywhere. It is a nice feeling on some days, but others (like yesterday and today) I am incredibly blah and restless. I make lists and keep things that I need to do written in my agenda, but it's still difficult. I definitely do not just sit around and watch TV... I've caught up on laundry, cleaned out my dresser and bookshelf, and now plan to move on to my desk then kitchen. However, just being absolutely and completely schedule-less is new/difficult.
2. I've been sOOoOoOooo bad about exercising since graduation. My friend Liz and I kept joking that July 1st would be our first day of a new workout schedule. But I have been feeling incredibly lazy and out of shape. Those 6 weeks after grad where my life was crazy, I just physically and mentally did not have the motivation. However yesterday I finally did get my booty out for a hike. It was a nice day (even though I forgot to tell anyone I was going, probably wasn't the safest scenario) and I needed the activity. Sore today, but for sure going to keep up with the exercise.
3. It's been super gloomy again! Damn you June gloom, go away!!!
4. I was used to talking to people/interacting with people (kids, supervisors, teachers, classmates, friends etc) all day, everyday, and I was always at the top of my game, giving 110% every hour of each day. I wore makeup, nice clothes, cute heels, and spent a good amount of time on my appearance. I needed to look and act the part of an intern/student every moment. Now I don't have anyone really to talk to or be around, I don't wear makeup, and I'm either in causal clothes, PJs or a bathing suit. Sometimes it's amazing and feels like a dream! But other times... well again, it's just different.
5. I guess overall I just haven't been feeling really confident or secure. I am stressing over every little thing, obsessing, over-analyzing every detail... from the way my apartment looks, to the way I look, to the way I've been interacting with Kevin and others. It's driving me crazy. I cannot ever turn my brain off and I haven't been sleeping much. I need to "not sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff" right?!
How does everyone else deal with stress? How do you just let go? PLEASE HELP ME!
So today I told myself I will try to be on a better page and get out of this funk. I had such a good weekend and once yesterday rolled around, I don't know I just lost all contentment. I know myself too, once I get in these funks, it can be really hard to get myself out and I cannot let that happen. I know this is going to be a roller coaster of a time due to adjustment issues, but I need to keep in a positive mind frame. I like change, but again it's just a little tough right now. Here are things to keep me motivated/happy today.
Pictures from my hike: Los Liones off on PCH and Sunset
I went to AMPM this morning across the street from my apartment and used my free coffee card (I get a lot of them, the guy who works there hooks it up). They even had a new flavor, white chocolate raspberry... one of my favs. DELISH!
And now I'm watching a Lifetime movie "Lying to Be Perfect" (story of my life?!, jk) with one of my favorite actresses, Poppy Montgomery
Today's plan... eat breakfast and finish my movie, clean out/organize my desk, hopefully sit by the pool for an hour to read and get some sun (if it comes out), exercise, and then going to make spaghetti for dinner because I've been craving it lately, comfort food I used to always eat as a little girl.
So that's me spilling my heart out today. Just a rough patch... but as my daddy always says, EGBOK (Everything's Gonna Be OK). :)
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